Monday, September 14, 2015

Lost Friendships & Relationships

I am recently caught up in a whole lot of nostalgia and I've been playing old songs that remind me of the people I once loved. The people who once loved me. I've made a set on Polyvore that was heavily inspired by the song, "The Reason". When I listened to this song for the first time in forever, the chorus really caught my attention and I nearly bawled my eyes out:

"I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you"

I've recently started school and with that it is inevitable that you will meet new friends, catch up with older friends, and lose your best friends. "The Reason" has always been a childhood favorite of mine but I didn't really understand how much this song meant to me until now. I've said a lot of bad things to a lot of people, I've regretted my mistakes, I've been really unappreciative to the people who were there for me through everything I've been through, and with that I'm sorry. I walk the hallways at school completely lost because that one person I used to talk to has moved on with newer people and is too busy to be bothered by me. I made this person promise to me that we would never stop talking, stop laughing, and under any circumstances, forget about each other. I guess we've both been pretty bad at keeping that promise. We occasionally wave at each other with the awkwardest "I miss you" kind of smile. But the 10 seconds I have the pleasure of being in their presence, honestly makes my entire day. Nobody in the world could ever replace the people who meant the most to me.

Nobody can replace him.

This person was my everything and still holds a special place in my heart even though our status isn't the same as it was before. Since losing that person, I  have realized that I need to hold on to the people that mean the most to me, now and forever. And never take their presence and love for granted.
It took me a lost bond with the person who meant the most to me, to finally open my eyes and understand that some people are worth fighting for and if you don't make that effort to fight for who you love, they will just leave your life without saying goodbye.
I don't usually write these types of posts and this all feels a bit foreign to me but I'm always available if you need to talk. Don't ever be afraid to pm me if you need someone to talk to.

For Devin.